Family · Life · no categories

I want my body back

Here I am pregnant with our third Gem, another girl! 15 days left, but who’s counting. My feet and ankles are swollen, so much so that only my flip-flops fit. Bending over is a chore. Heartburn?? Tums and I are now good friends 🙂  My toddler and I walk at the same pace – slow and steady. Cuddles with my kids are limited or non-existent (more on that later) Oh, we can’t forget that I can’t see my feet!! lol

This has easily been my most challenging pregnancy. Constantly feeling tired, naps have been a must most days. We discovered early on that if I didn’t sleep in the afternoon I was either emotional and would cry or I was cranky and took it out on my husband or worse the kids.  Afternoon naps in general are great, however my house was neglected. We had an unwritten rule that what didn’t get done in the afternoon would get done in the evening after the girls went to bed. Most days that worked. However, now the bigger I get the harder it is to do my everyday things. I’m thankful it’s summer and that I have two sweet Gems who are willing to help. They do most chores that require bending over – holding the dust pan while I sweep in the crumbs from lunch. They help empty the dish washer by handing me the dishes on the lower rack.

During my first and probably my second pregnancy I didn’t care if those everyday chores were done. I just didn’t care. I’m far from being a perfectionist or a clean freak. I would say things like: Our home was ‘tidy’, it was ‘lived in.’ That’s how I really saw our home. I’d use the excuse that I was too busy with the daycare kids to clean. Some days that was legit. To look back on it now, some days I’m sure I abused my husband’s phlegmatic personality. Some times when I’d say sorry about the mess, it was sincere and other days it was a halfhearted sorry. But something in me has changed. In the last year or so I care about what our home looks like. (maybe I’m ready to be a grown up 🙂 I’ve read books on it. I’ve spoken to others who have been successful in taking care of their home the way I would like to. Before bed I do a walk through on the main floor to be sure things aren’t laying around. My kitchen is clean and tidy. OH, how I love waking up to a clean kitchen!! The bathroom wiped down once or twice a day. NOW, some of these things don’t get done. I’m too tired. I’m too big. I don’t always have the energy or motivation to do them. I should motivate myself, but I’m too tired to that some days, lol. I never thought the day would come when I would say ‘I want my body back so I can properly clean my house’.

Last week I was talking with our 5 year old when after she hugged me she said ‘I can’t wait for your body to be back to normal because then I hug you and my hands can touch…’ OUCH!! she’s 5, I can’t take it too hard 🙂 But, the reality is we can’t cuddle at story time like we use to. Both girls will try to cuddle with me but after a short time ask me where daddy is so they can cuddle with him. The 2 year old understands and often says that baby E is in the way. Can I just have my body back so I can cuddle with my Gems? As previously mentioned bending over is a chore. Well, playing on the floor with Barbies, or Legos is just as difficult. Standing for a long time is tiring, my legs get heavy. There goes chasing them, pushing them on the swing for a good chunk of time or going for long neighbourhood walks. I didn’t realize how much I would miss those things. I want my body back so that I can play with the two older Gems.

This baby gem moves more then the others did. I embrace and enjoy those moments. It really is amazing how God created my body to do this. The truth is, God helps me to persevere. This summer we’ve been fortunate to travel to various parts of Canada. I did what I could. Even if that meant I did it slow and steady. I did it. I volunteered at our church’s kid day camp. Even if I did it slow and steady. I did it. I know that there is a season and a time for everything. I’ll get my body back. I know it won’t look the exact same. But I’ll be able to clean and play and bending over will be a non-issue.

Enjoy your weekend! 


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